Political Systems For Dummies

Categories: Personal, Politics
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Published on: August 29, 2007

Original title: Political Systems Explained for Farmers Dummies.

The fundamental principles of the different types of political and social systems explained via a simple example using two cows. You heard right, COWS. If you know what a cow is and are aware of the fact that the produce more than just steaks for your dinner, such as milk, you are good to go and should have no problem to understand it.



I came across this on the internet and wanted share it with you. It’s hilarious. If any political system is missing, feel free to add your own “Two Cows Definition” of it as a comment below. Thanks.

FEUDALISM
You have two cows. Your lord takes some of the milk.

PURE SOCIALISM
You have two cows. The government takes them and puts them in a barn with everyone else’s cows. You have to take care of all of the cows. The government gives you as much milk as you need.

BUREAUCRATIC SOCIALISM
You have two cows. The government takes them and put them in a barn with everyone else’s cows. They are cared for by ex-chicken farmers. You have to take care of the chickens the government took from the chicken farmers. The government gives you as much milk and eggs as the regulations say you need.

FASCISM
You have two cows. The government takes both, hires you to take care of them and sells you the milk.

PURE COMMUNISM
You have two cows. Your neighbors help you take care of them, and you all share the milk.

RUSSIAN COMMUNISM
You have two cows. You have to take care of them, but the government takes all the milk.

CAMBODIAN COMMUNISM
You have two cows. The government takes both of them and shoots you.

LIBERTARIAN/ANARCHO-CAPITALISM
You have two cows. You sell one and buy a bull.


… and as a bonus some explanations of some of the basic social principles explained, using our beloved two cows as illustration.

DICTATORSHIP
You have two cows. The government takes both and drafts you.

PURE DEMOCRACY
You have two cows. Your neighbors decide who gets the milk.

REPRESENTATIVE DEMOCRACY
You have two cows. Your neighbors pick someone to tell you who gets the milk.

BUREAUCRACY
You have two cows. At first the government regulates what you can feed them and when you can milk them. Then it pays you not to milk them. Then it takes both, shoots one, milks the other and pours the milk down the drain. Then it requires you to fill out forms accounting for the missing cows.

PURE ANARCHY
You have two cows. Either you sell the milk at a fair price or your neighbors try to take the cows and kill you.

SURREALISM
You have two giraffes. The government requires you to take harmonica lessons.


Surprisingly simple, isn’t it. I wasted hours of lessons of social science in school to learn something that would have taken only a few minutes to explain, without the risk of falling asleep by listening to the monotone voice of my boring social sciences teacher.

Here is the video version of it that I created :)

Cheers!
Carsten aka Roy/SAC

1 Comment
  1. Anonymous says:

    Irish Socialism. The government takes your two cows, puts them in the barn, then tries to convince you – you only gave them one.

    Tony D